A Case of the Munchies
by Mako Headrush
Summary: Reno buys a hookah for a party being hosted by Zack, Angeal, Sephiroth, and Genesis.  Suddenly, everyone is in need of snacks, and hits the supermarket for a midnight snack/booze run.  Total Crack!fic.  RenoxCloud, GenesisxSephiroth, ZackxAngeal
1. Chapter 1

**Request fic-slash-suggestion for a friend. And wouldn't you know….this started as a one-shot, and now….is probably going to end up being a two-shot. Erm, or maybe three chapters…or four. I don't even know. I just write and write, and when it's done – I stop. **

**Summary: Reno buys a hookah for a party being hosted by Zack, Angeal, Sephiroth, and Genesis. Suddenly, everyone is in need of snacks, and hits the supermarket for a midnight snack/booze run. Total Crack!fic. RenoxCloud, GenesisxSephiroth, ZackxAngeal. **

**Setting: Crisis-Core-ish, with some obvious revisionist history.**

**Rated M for safety: Yaoi, language, hints of lemon, marijuana use. Possible full lemons in later chapters, so..M it is. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy, Square Enix does. Woe is me.**

**And… drugs are bad, mmkay? Ahem.**

**

* * *

**

It had been a rough week of final examinations at the ShinRa military academy, and Cloud Strife was anxiously awaiting to hear what his marks were. He was trying to keep his mind off of his worries, and decided to work out in the SOLDIER training facility, which cadets were allowed to use on a limited basis. Cloud had a pretty good rapport with his instructors, First Class SOLDIERS Zack, Angeal, and Genesis. General Sephiroth still intimidated him, but the general had that effect on pretty much everyone in the academy.

Cloud decided to begin his workout with a quick run on the treadmill. He put his headphones in his ears, got on the treadmill, and set the incline to ten percent; then, he hit the start button on to begin his run. Starting out with a slow trot, he quickly broke into a fast gait. Turning up the volume on his music, he barely noticed when Reno entered the room; if it weren't for his shock of red hair, Cloud might not have even realized the Turk was in the room. He seemed to have some sort of package tucked under his arm.

Glancing up briefly, Cloud waved over to him. "Hey, Reno," he called. Reno grinned upon seeing Cloud, instantly recognizing him. He had assisted Zack during one of his training sessions with the cadets on hand-to-hand combat. Reno licked his lips as he remembered just how well Cloud had done when sparring with him. It wasn't often that a cadet bested Reno, but Cloud had done so, dodging Reno's attacks with the EMR, and overcame Reno, knocking him on his back, and straddling him, pointing his sword at the Turk's throat and forcing him to surrender. _For some reason, that totally turned me on_, Reno recalled, grinning.

He wondered if perhaps Cloud had felt the same; Reno had been noticing Cloud more and more since that encounter, and would swear that he had caught the blond cadet stealing glances at him more than once. One day the cadet had shown up in the Turks' office to drop off some reports; clearly something Zack Fair couldn't be bothered with himself. That day, Reno found himself unable to stop _staring_ at Cloud. The young cadet was attractive, for sure, but it seemed like there was something else that stirred Reno's interest. Reno wasn't quite sure what that was, as yet, but he was determined to find out.

"Yo, Cloud," Reno said, greeting the cadet as he approached the treadmill. "Hey, can I talk to you for a minute? Sorry to interrupt."

Raising an eyebrow, Cloud shrugged indifferently, and paused the treadmill. "What's up?" he asked nonchalantly.

"Well," Reno began, "you've had a hell of a week last week, with finals…want to go hang out with the big boys?"

"The big boys?" Cloud echoed, sounding confused. "Reno, what are you talking about, exactly?"

"I mean," Reno said, chuckling, "want to hang out with Zack and Genesis, and Angeal and Sephiroth? That's where I'm headed now."

"Um, really?" Cloud asked, somewhat disbelieving. He knew Reno's reputation as a prankster, and didn't want to be the butt of one of his jokes.

"Yeah, really," Reno replied, smiling easily. "I probably shouldn't say anything, yet…but I have it on good authority that you aced it, Cloud."

"No fucking way!" Cloud shouted happily. "Seriously? Um…sorry, I'm just, uh…"

"Excited?" Reno said, laughing. "Yeah, I get that. Come on…I picked up something here," he continued, indicating the package tucked under his arm, "that'll be a shitload of fun, for all of us."

Cloud grinned. Although he was a bit nervous thinking about hanging out with the likes of Zack and the other SOLDIERS – not to mention, _General Sephiroth_ – there was something about Reno that put him at ease. "That sounds good, Reno," Cloud answered. "But…I didn't even get my workout in!" he protested, smiling.

_I can think of a few ways to give __**you**__ a workout, Cloud_, Reno thought, his mind racing. "Eh, don't worry about it!" Reno replied nonchalantly, with a wave of his hand. "Seriously, yo – you were put through your paces enough this week. Remember, I've already been through this shit – I know what they do to you here."

"Well…I guess I could hang out for a little bit," Cloud began, leaning forward a bit on the treadmill, and scratching his head distractedly. Reno got a sudden urge to run his own fingers through the blond spiked hair_. Down, Turk!_ he warned himself.

"Yeah," Cloud said decisively. "I'll come. Let me just…hit the showers really quick. Should I meet you there?" he inquired.

"Well, seeing as you don't know where we're going," Reno replied, smirking, "I'll just wait for you out here, yo."

"Oh, okay then!" Cloud replied, smiling, as headed back toward the locker room. He paused in his tracks, and glanced back at Reno. "Thanks…for inviting me, Reno," he said shyly.

"Anytime, yo," Reno replied, waving at Cloud as he sprinted off to the showers. "Anytime…"

* * *

Zack Fair was completely exhausted, and had fallen fast asleep on the sofa, in the house he shared with Angeal, Sephiroth, and Genesis. The house was a big, rambling, old affair, and was large enough that none of the men got in each other's way. Today, however, Genesis and Sephiroth grumbled about Zack taking up the _entire_ sofa, while they had to squish together on the love seat. "Leave him alone, he's tired," Angeal had warned them both gruffly.

"Says who?" challenged Sephiroth, as he stared Angeal down.

"Says _me_," Angeal replied steadily, gazing down at Sephiroth. The general was tall, but Angeal towered over him. Not to mention, the man was a wall of solid muscle. Sephiroth could easily defeat anyone – even Angeal – but he was not in the mood to press things further. "Come on, Genesis," Sephiroth barked. "We'll just go to our room. Maybe we'll _fuck_," he said loudly, smirking.

"Oh?" inquired Genesis, a bit too eagerly, as he trailed Sephiroth up the stairs.

"Just keep it _quiet_ this time!" Angeal hissed at them, as they departed. "Gods, those two." Angeal took a seat in the recliner near the head of the sofa, his fingers lazily and gently stroking Zack's spiked black hair. "Tired little puppy," Angeal murmured, smiling.

A knock came at the door, and Angeal groaned. "Nobody's getting any damned rest around here," he muttered, as he got up to answer the door. "Oh," Angeal said as he opened the door to see Reno and Cloud standing there. "It's _you_."

"Is that any way to greet your favorite Turk, Angeal?" Reno asked, grinning, as he waltzed through the door without waiting for Angeal to invite him inside.

"I don't _have_ a favorite Turk," Angeal replied, rolling his eyes. "Hi, Cloud," he said, greeting the cadet. Cloud had been standing there nervously; Angeal certainly didn't seem to be happy to see them, and he was starting to wonder how wise it had been to come here with Reno.

"Zack was trying to sleep," Angeal warned Reno, who was approaching the sleeping figure anyway, in spite of Angeal's warning.

"No time for sleeping, it's time to party!" crowed Reno. "Dude, come ON," he said, clapping a hand on Angeal's shoulder. "Finals are over, get the stick out of your ass! We've worked hard all year whipping these guys into shape!"

"I'll say," said Cloud, chuckling nervously. He was starting to wonder if there would be other cadets showing up…or, would he be the only one?

"See?" Reno continued. "Case in point. This guy here busted ass, and got the highest marks out of anyone in his class. So I think we should get him drunk off of his ass!" Reno chortled.

"Reno," Angeal said patiently, gritting his teeth as he did so. "For one thing: you really shouldn't be telling Cadet Strife about his marks before they are _officially posted_. And another thing – do you _really_ think that's appropriate, planning to get this young man intoxicated?"

_Not only do I think it's appropriate_, thought Reno, _but it'll probably increase my chances of scoring with him. _"It'll be fine, yo!" Reno replied, assuring Angeal. "You're cool, right Cloud?"

"Um…yeah, I'm Cloud. I mean, I'm cool," he stuttered nervously, turning beet red as he tripped over his words.

Reno laughed out loud. "You know, you're kind of cute when you blush, yo," he teased, causing Cloud to turn an even deeper shade of crimson. "Hey, Angeal," Reno continued. "Where the fuck are Seph and Gen?"

"They're upstairs," Angeal replied.

"Oh. Fucking, probably," Reno remarked, rolling his eyes. "Those two are _always_ fucking."

"What?" Cloud blurted, not quite believing what he was hearing. _The General…and Genesis? Were they…together?_

"You mean you didn't know?" Reno inquired, with a bemused grin. "Sephiroth and Genesis are a couple, yo. They have been for a while."

"As are myself and Zack," Angeal said quietly, trying to ignore Reno, and intently studying his fingernails. He sighed, wishing he could throw Reno out, but he was starting to feel badly for the Strife kid, who seemed like he felt uncomfortable and out of place.

Reno grabbed his EMR and started tapping up above his head, jabbing the ceiling. "Hey!" he shouted toward the ceiling. "You two fuckers, get down here, I've got something to show ya!" Reno shifted the package that he still had clutched underneath his arm, and placed it carefully on the coffee table, right in front of Zack, who was still snoring with his mouth wide open.

The Turk knelt down near the coffee table, and began to remove the brown shipping paper from the large package. Peeling it off layer by layer, something that looked like a large vase soon appeared. It appeared to be made out of blown glass; the base was a large, rounded bowl, that looked like a coiled snake tail; as the vase curved up, it transformed into a serpentine-like shape. Eight small hoses were placed around the middle; the item in question appeared to be a hookah.

"Is that…is that supposed to be the Midgar Zolom?" Cloud inquired, clearly impressed. He knelt down next to Reno to inspect the item a bit closer. "That is really cool. Although, I've heard that the Midgar Zolom is a myth."

"It's no myth," Reno replied dryly. "I can assure you of that."

"Reno," began Angeal, knitting his eyebrows together, "what _is_ that thing, anyway?"

"You mean you don't know?" Reno asked, chuckling. "It's a fucking hookah!"

Angeal frowned. "Oh brother. I am not interested in _that_," he remarked, with disdain.

"Well, _you_ might not be, but I bet Zack will be," Reno retorted. "Yo, Zack, wake up!" Reno urged, poking the still-sleeping SOLDIER.

"Nnnnf. Wha…Angeal…what?" Zack mumbled. He opened one eye, which was right in line with the hookah that was set on the coffee table. _Holy shit, how did a Midgar Zolom get into our fucking house?_ _Angeal! Where are you!_ he thought, confused.

Zack screamed, and fell off the couch. "Ahh!" he shouted. "What the…fuck, what the fuck!" he babbled, still half-asleep. Reno burst out laughing. "Relax, yo," he told Zack as he helped him up. "It's just a damned hookah!"

Zack groaned. "Oh gods, Reno," he complained. "Don't do that shit to me! Oh, hey, Cloud," he said, greeting the cadet, suddenly noticing he was there. "What are you doing here?"

"I, um…I don't know, Reno invited me," Cloud stammered uncomfortably. "He said…something about a party?"

"Oh, yeah," replied Zack. "I forgot. And I forgot to tell you too, Angeal….sorry!" He gave Angeal a sheepish grin.

"What…party?" Angeal asked, gruffly. "I'm not in the mood for a party."

"What the hell is going on down here!" demanded Sephiroth, who had just come back down the stairs with Genesis, both in varying states of undress. Genesis was flushed, and his eyeliner was smeared all over his face. "Who was banging on the goddamned ceiling?" Sephiroth barked.

"That was me, yo," said Reno, waving nonchalantly at the pair. "Um…sorry if I interrupted anything," he said, chuckling. "I just wanted to show you guys what I brought for the party!"

"What PARTY!" demanded Angeal, irritably. "Am I the only one who doesn't know what the hell's going on?"

"That's today?" Genesis inquired, as he suddenly noticed the hookah. "Oh wow, Reno….is this what I think it is?" he asked the Turk, grinning.

"Yup," affirmed Reno. "It's a hookah. Got it at Wall Market!"

"Cool," Genesis replied, taking up one of the hookah hoses in his hand, inspecting it. "Oh, Seph, we are going to have _fun_ with this," he said, smiling up at the general, who raised an eyebrow curiously and smirked, but said nothing.

"Angeal," Zack began, trying to explain. "Remember? We decided to have a party after finals ended, and invite the cadet with the highest marks, along with any friends he'd want to bring. Of course," Zack continued, glaring at Reno, "marks haven't even been posted yet, have they? Way to jump the gun, there, Turk."

Reno shrugged his shoulders indifferently. "So what?" he replied, grinning. "You all need to fucking relax, and I'm going to make damned sure you do."

Cloud was suddenly feeling mortified, and very out of place. "Maybe…maybe I should just go, then," he muttered, embarrassed; this was met with some protest by Reno, and the other SOLDIERS.

"No, man, you don't have to go!" Reno exclaimed, putting his arm around Cloud. "Please," he said softly. "Don't leave just yet." Cloud stared into Reno's aquamarine eyes, and felt something stir inside him. "Okay," he replied slowly, smiling. "I'll…stay. For a little while."

"Good," said Reno, smiling. "Now let's get the party started!"

"I'll order some pizzas," offered Sephiroth, grabbing his cell phone. "How many? Twenty?"

Cloud laughed. "Twenty? There's only….six of us here, sir."

Sephiroth gazed coolly at Cloud, and smiled. "Ten of those are for me," he replied, chuckling. "Hey, Zack – go get a keg, or something. Isn't that what you usually do?"

"I always have to make the beer run!" Zack complained. "Can't Genesis do it?"

"I'll go with you, Zack," Genesis offered, "but I will be getting some wine. I prefer it over beer," he said, making a face.

"Man, when did you turn into a wine snob?" Zack inquired, teasing.

Genesis cast him a withering glare. "Unlike you, Zack," he said evenly, "I drink because I enjoy the taste, not to simply get shithammered."

"Like hell you don't," Zack retorted, laughing. "You're a girl-drink drunk. I've seen you getting three sheets to the wind, just on your foo-foo blender drinks."

"Fuck you!" shouted Genesis, indignantly. "Come on. Let's _go, _if we're going," he hissed at Reno.

Angeal was smiling in spite of his resistance to the idea of this party. After all, parties were something that Zack enjoyed; and anything that made Zack happy, was worthwhile to Angeal in the end.

"Wait!" Reno said suddenly. "Hold up, yo. Before everyone scatters, why don't we give this thing a test drive?" he said, pointing at the hookah. "I'm going to fill it up," he continued, before waiting for an answer. He ran into the kitchen to get a cup of water out of the tap; then, he filled the bowl of the hookah with it. Next, Reno fished around in his pants pocket for his Zippo lighter, and, lifting the top, lit the tobacco that was nestled within. "Ah, we're ready to roll, yo," the Turk said, grinning, rubbing his hands together gleefully.

"What exactly did you put in there, Reno?" Angeal inquired, a bit suspiciously.

"The usual," Reno replied, grinning wickedly. "Oh, come on, Angeal, what do you THINK I put in there?"

Angeal folded his arms across his chest and shook his head. "I do not approve," he said stubbornly.

Grinning, Zack ran his hand up Angeal's well-muscled back, causing him to jump. "You know, Angeal," he murmured, "last time we did this…it ended up being pretty fun, didn't it?" A broad smile broke across Angeal's tanned face. "Yeah," he admitted, as he recalled exactly what happened the _last_ time. "That was…nice. Um, the parts I remember, anyway," he said, laughing.

"See?" said Zack, grinning. "Don't be such a stick in the mud. It's a party, after all!" he crowed. Angeal sighed; there was little he could do to dissuade Zack, once he set his mind to have fun. It was simply easier to go along with him.

Reno already had the mouthpiece of one of the hoses inserted in his mouth, and was taking hits off of the hookah. "Anyone else, yo?" he said, offering a hose to Cloud. "Come on, Cloud, don't be shy. Step right up!" Reno urged him.

Cloud grinned. "Or…sit right down, you mean," he said, as he took a seat on the floor next to Reno. "I've…never done this before," he admitted.

"Well, aren't you glad you decided to stay, then?" Reno commented, smiling as he handed a hose to Cloud. "It's easy, just like smoking, but it's way smoother. See, just hold the hose like this," Reno instructed him, guiding Cloud's jittery hand around the mouthpiece of the hose. "Don't be nervous! You'll be…very relaxed soon, I promise," Reno said, winking at him.

"So you just stick it in your mouth, like I'm doing here," Reno told Cloud as he demonstrated, "and suck – don't blow into it, either. It's better to suck than to blow. Um…I mean…" Reno turned bright red as he realized the double entendre of what he had said. Cloud giggled nervously, but did as he was instructed, taking a long hit off of the hookah. _Is Reno flirting with me?_ Cloud wondered. _It certainly…seems like it, all of a sudden._

Cloud held the smoke in his mouth for a bit, savoring the taste, then let it out slowly. All the nervous tension he had been feeling, felt as if it had also been released when he exhaled. "Yeah," Cloud mumbled, smiling dumbly. "I feel better already."

"Good!" Reno replied, smiling. He stuck the mouthpiece in between his lips again, taking another hit. Sephiroth and Genesis sat themselves on the couch, the general scowling slightly as he picked up one of the hoses. "Don't bogart the hookah, Turk," he remarked, smirking. "Cadet Strife, are you enjoying yourself?" the general inquired, as he took a hit.

"I am, thank you," Cloud replied. "And, please, sir…call me Cloud," he said with a nervous smile.

Sephiroth slowly blew out four consecutive smoke rings right into Genesis's face, causing him to giggle. Smiling kindly at Cloud, Sephiroth told him, "And you can call me Sephiroth. Formalities should be left at the door, this is a party!"

Zack and Angeal both sat on the floor in front of the coffee table, and Zack handed a hose to Angeal. "You know what to do!" Zack told him, smiling. Shrugging his shoulders and smiling, Angeal took a small hit to start, then inhaled even more deeply. _Fuck it_, he thought_. I'm already in deep enough as it is. Besides, whenever Zack smokes, he gets horny._ Angeal grinned wickedly, and this did not go unnoticed by Zack.

"What are you smiling about? That good already?" Zack inquired, as he blew out a waft of smoke he had been holding in his mouth .

"Wouldn't you like to know what I'm smiling about," Angeal said mysteriously.

"Hewley's high on one hit, haaaaaa," Genesis snickered, then began snorting and laughing uncontrollably. Sephiroth began to giggle. "You…sound like a rutting Chocobo, Gen. Haahahahahaha." Sephiroth threw his head back, laughing hysterically, and as he leaned forward again, fell off of the couch and onto the floor, still chortling. Genesis took one look at the general on the floor and began laughing even harder. "Oh shit, Seph!" he cried. "My mascara's going to run!"

"Shut up, pretty boy!" Sephiroth retorted, giggling, and wiping the tears from his eyes. Reno and Cloud looked at each other and burst out laughing. They had both somehow ended up sitting pressed against each other, and neither had realized it, until that moment. "Uh, sorry," said Reno, inching away a bit from Cloud. "Didn't mean to squash you."

"Nah, it's okay, Reno!" Cloud assured him, clearly way more relaxed than he was when he first arrived. He boldly threw his arm around Reno's waist, pulling him in closer. "Sit next to me! You're keeping me warmmmm," Cloud slurred, giggling.

Reno hesitantly put an arm around Cloud's shoulders, not wanting to come on _too_ strongly, but feeling a bit encouraged by Cloud suddenly glomming onto him. "So, you're liking it, huh?" Reno inquired, pointing at the hookah.

"Oh yeah," Cloud replied, smiling as he leaned into Reno slightly. "That's some good shit! Tastes like…I don't know, fucking blueberries or something. Where'd you get it?"

"From Tseng," Reno replied, as the others laughed at Cloud's comment. "Tseng's aunt grows that shit back on the family plantation in Wutai."

"No fucking way!" exclaimed Cloud. "Wow. Hey Reno," he crooned, clearly having no inhibitions left, "I really like you, Reno," he purred, nuzzling Reno's shoulder.

Reno beamed. The hookah was having the desired effect on Cloud. Not that he had ever intended on drugging the cadet in order to get anywhere with him, but if it helped spur things along, Reno didn't have a problem with that.

"I…like you too, Cloud," Reno replied, smiling over at Cloud. He suddenly realized everyone in the room was staring at both of them. "What?" Reno snapped. "Oh, uh, Cloud? It's kind of after the fact, but did you want to invite any of your friends over here to hang out?"

"Nah," Cloud replied. "Fuck them. They'll just hog all the weed." Everyone laughed at this.

"Hey….guys?" Cloud began. "I'm really, really hungry. Didn't Sephiroth order a shit ton of pizzas?"

Sephiroth wrinkled his brow at this, it sounded familiar. "I _did_ order pizzas!" he burst out, indignantly. "Where the fuck are they?"

Genesis glanced over at Sephiroth, smirking. "Did you tell them to deliver? Or that we'd pick them up?"

The general smacked his forehead with the palm of his hand, and groaned. "Oh, for fuck's sake! I think I told them we'd pick up. Let me call them back…I'll tell them we'll be there soon, to get them. Or should I tell them to deliver?" he pondered uncertainly.

"I want ice cream," Cloud blurted suddenly. "Can we get ice cream?"

"Oh yeah!" interrupted Zack. "And I was supposed to get beer! And nancy-boy over there," he said, laughing and pointing at Genesis, "was going to get his fruity-tooty wine!" Zack burst out laughing, and leaned back, falling onto the carpet, giggling uncontrollably.

Genesis snorted, and glared at Zack. "You are a most _annoying_ prick, Fair," he remarked. "You've certainly taken your share of my 'fruity' wine, asshole."

"I'm just _kidding_, Genesis!" Zack exclaimed, still giggling. "Geez! So, hey – let's go to the supermarket, we'll pick up some snacks, and we can get beer and wine there too. Seph, we'll get the pizzas on our way back…that sound good to everyone?"

Everyone nodded in agreement except for Angeal, who was still sitting on the carpet, cross-legged, moaning.

Zack looked mildly concerned, and asked him, "Angeal? You okay?"

"Too many words, Zack," Angeal muttered. "Too much…to process…"

"He needs another hit," Sephiroth ordered. "STAT." Zack took the hose, which was dangling uselessly in front of Angeal, and placed the mouthpiece in between his lips. "Suck it, baby," Zack murmured, grinning as he locked eyes with Angeal's. Angeal's eyes shot open at this remark, and he grinned hugely. "Nice, Zack," he commented, as he took another hit. "Ah," he said as he exhaled. "I think…I feel better now. I'm fucking ravenous, though," he complained. "Let's go, and get some food."

"Okay then," said Sephiroth. "Everyone pile into my truck." Cloud grinned; what a day this was turning out to be. Not only was he partying with SOLDIERS, and the general – now he was going to get to ride in the general's monster truck. He didn't feel one bit guilty about not inviting any of his fellow cadets either.

* * *

Reno made certain anything lit was extinguished, and Zack locked up the house behind them. As they all headed out to the driveway toward Sephiroth's gunmetal-grey truck, Reno shoved ahead of Genesis, wanting to maneuver it so he'd sit next to Cloud in the backseat. The truck was really a military vehicle; practically a stretch-limo version of a huge truck, capable of seating eight. As Cloud stood next to the open door, he suddenly realized that he was too short to get in without a boost. Turning around, he saw Reno standing there, and asked him to lend a hand. "I…need a boost, Reno," Cloud told him sheepishly. "I'm not tall enough, I guess."

"Hey, no problem, yo," Reno agreed easily. He cupped his hand and put it down near the ground, so that Cloud could step into it and enter the vehicle; Cloud gingerly stuck his foot in, and began hoisting himself up on the doorframe. Reno suddenly lost his balance and began swaying; he crashed to the ground, with Cloud landing on top of him – and Cloud ended up sitting right on Reno's face.

Lying on the ground, with Cloud's nether regions pressed up against his face, Reno couldn't help but laugh_. This is…not quite how I pictured getting down with Cloud_, he thought, bemused, _but it's a start. Damn, _he noted, smiling as he felt Cloud's erection pressing down on his nose, _maybe he really is happy to see me. _

Cloud hastily extricated himself from Reno, completely mortified. "I'm so sorry, Reno!" he apologized, putting out a hand to help him up. "That was…awkward."

"It's not your fault, yo," Reno replied, smiling. "It was my fault, I'm all fucked up, and I fell over," he said, laughing. "And, that wasn't awkward…not to me. That was fucking hot."

"Hot?" echoed Cloud quizzically. Reno gave him a smoldering look and pressed Cloud up against the side of the truck, kissing him roughly. "Yeah," Reno said softly. "Hot. Like that."

"Oh," Cloud replied dumbly. _What do I do now?_ he wondered. _I have to do…something. I can't just stand here like an idiot. _He grabbed a surprised Reno by the lapels, and pulled Reno back toward him, capturing his lips in a fiery kiss. "And that," murmured Cloud. "That's hot, too." Reno nodded, smiling wordlessly. He hadn't quite expected Cloud to kiss him back, but he was damned glad it had happened.

By this time, everyone was seated in the vehicle, and Sephiroth was behind the wheel. "Will you two just get into my fucking truck, already?" he shouted impatiently. "You can make out later, for Gaia's sake. I'm hungry, and I want my goddamned pizzas." The general already had a lit joint in his mouth, and sucked on it as he slammed the transmission into reverse, backing out of the driveway with a screech, nearly taking out the mailbox. Soon they were on the road, and headed on their way to the supermarket. "Here," Sephiroth said, handing the joint to Genesis, who was riding shotgun, "pass it around. And don't fucking bogart it, Gen. _Share,_" he commanded.

Smirking, Genesis took the offered joint, took a hit, and turned around to hand it to Angeal, who took a quick hit and passed it around. Reno chuckled, and reached into his jacket pocket, apparently searching for something. "What is that little thing?" Reno asked, cackling. "That's fucking tiny, yo. You could pick your teeth with that joint."

Sephiroth glanced in the rear view mirror and glared at Reno. "You got something better, asshole?" he inquired icily.

"As a matter of fact, I do," Reno replied airily. He pulled out a huge blunt, stuck it in his mouth and lit it, taking a huge drag. "Ahh," he murmured as he exhaled. "Now that's the shit." He handed it over to Cloud next. "Wow," Cloud said, grinning. "Are you…always this prepared, Reno?"

"Hell yeah," answered Reno, leaning back in his seat lazily, still blowing out smoke rings. "A blunt a day keeps the doctor away."

Cloud started laughing as he was inhaling, and began coughing and sputtering. "Fuck," he managed to choke out. "Here…Zack, take it," he said in between coughing fits, as he passed the blunt to Zack. "Give that shit up here when you're done with it," Sephiroth commanded Zack, eyeballing him in the rearview mirror. Reno began patting Cloud on the back as he was coughing. "I'm okay," Cloud said, smiling at Reno. "Thanks."

"No problem," Reno replied, as he leaned back again, clasping his hands behind his head and relaxing. "Remember what I told you, Cloud – it's better to suck than to blow," he said, giggling.

"I bet it is," Cloud said huskily, inching closer to Reno, and smiling slyly. Reno swallowed hard, and grinned hugely. _I am getting the biggest hard-on right now_, he thought_. I hope I'm not too high to get it up later…_

Zack giggled. "Should you be smoking while driving?" he asked Sephiroth innocently, as he passed the blunt to Angeal.

The general merely glared at Zack in the mirror. "My tolerance is…higher than average, shall we say," Sephiroth replied, grinning. "Now give me that fucking blunt, Angeal, you're hogging it."

Angeal giggled. "So…..so fucking _what_, Sephiroth," he babbled stupidly, laughing. "I'm taking a second hit, and if you don't like it, you can go fuck yourself with a shoehorn." The general opened his mouth to reply, but his mouth simply hung open.

Zack doubled over laughing. "Angeal, you are so fucking wasted!" he hooted. "I wish I had the fucking camcorder!"

"Finally! We're finally fucking here!" exclaimed Genesis, as they pulled into the parking lot of the supermarket. "Gods, Sephiroth," he complained, "you drive slower than you _fuck_, when you're high!"

Sephiroth snarled and gave Genesis an almost feral look as he jerked the emergency brake angrily. "Excuse me, Genesis? Want to put your money where your mouth is?" he hissed, as he pounced on top of Genesis in the front seat, and started dry-humping him as he began removing Genesis's clothing.

"Oh for the love of Gaia," Reno muttered, rolling his eyes. "Um…why don't we just go ahead, Cloud. They're going to be a while, I think."

"Yeah," agreed Zack, already exiting the vehicle, "Gods, Seph, nobody needs to see that shit in the parking lot, take it to the back seat!"

"A capital idea," Sephiroth said wryly, already crawling toward the back seat. "Give us…a few minutes," he murmured. "We'll meet you inside."

Sighing, Reno shrugged his shoulders, and threw his arm around Cloud's shoulders, smiling over at him. "I guess we'll…go get your ice cream, yeah?"

"Yeah," replied Cloud. "That sounds good."

"And I'm doing the beer run, as usual," complained Zack. He and Angeal were walking alongside Reno and Cloud as they approached the entrance to the supermarket.

"Did anyone make a shopping list?" Angeal asked quietly.

"A list?" Reno and Zack said simultaneously, chuckling. "Dude…are you serious?" asked Reno. "We're all fucking wasted…do you think anyone of us is capable of holding a pen, never mind writing with it?"

Angeal groaned. "Oh, my head…." he muttered. He turned to face the group, a serious expression on his face. "I just need to know one thing," he began.

"What is it, babe?" Zack inquired.

"Can someone," Angeal asked, "can someone PLEASE stay sober…or semi-sober?" He sighed, realizing that nobody was getting his point, and then went on.

"Someone needs to be a little bit coherent," Angeal added, "just in case one – or more than one of us, which is most likely – needs bail money come tomorrow morning."

Cloud smiled at this, in spite of himself. He was having the time of his life so far. _Even if I had to spend a night in lockup_, he reasoned, _it'd all be worth it in the end._

"Can you believe those two, though, Seph and Genesis?" muttered Zack, changing the subject. "Seriously, I get being horny, but those two are horny every five fucking minutes."

Reno snorted at this, then glanced back to observe Cloud, who was lagging behind slightly. He hung back a bit, waiting for the cadet to catch up. "You okay, Cloud?"

"I'm fiiiiiine, Reno," Cloud drawled, grinning at Reno and staring through half-lidded eyes. "Hey! Can I ride in the cart? Can I?"

"I think," Reno replied, smiling, as he put an arm around Cloud, helping him along, "that is a great fucking idea. I'll push you, even."

"Oh good!" said Cloud, smiling. He frowned suddenly. "Oh no, Reno!" he said, sadly.

"What…what's the matter, Cloud?" Reno asked, as they entered the vestibule where all the shopping carts were.

"They don't have any racing car carts here," Cloud replied, morosely. "Or the fire truck ones, either! This place SUCKS!" he moaned.

Reno tried to stifle a giggle; the weed was starting to get to him, and suddenly _everything_ was hilarious. "Dude," he said, trying to keep his voice steady, "You wouldn't even fit into those shopping carts…they're for kids!"

"Oh," replied Cloud. "I guess that's okay then!" he said brightly. "This one's fine." He climbed into the front of the shopping cart, nearly toppling it over, until Reno realized what was happening, and grabbed onto the handle. "Whoa, dude," chuckled Reno. "So, let's get your ice cream, Cloud."

Zack and Angeal had made their way inside already, and Angeal was pushing a shopping cart in front of them toward the liquor department. "What're we getting, Ang?" Zack drawled.

"Something with caffeine," Angeal replied. "I'm getting tired…"

"Aw, don't say that!" Zack complained. "The night is young…"

"I know, Zack," Angeal replied, chuckling. "Don't worry, I'll get my second wind…eventually."

Meanwhile, Reno and Cloud had reached the freezer aisle. Cloud had virtually lost all of his inhibitions after hitting the blunt, and was feeling really good. Really, _really_ good. "I think I need to work 'yo' into my vocabulary more," Cloud blurted randomly. "What do you think, Reno?"

The Turk burst out laughing. "Well, then you'd start to sound like me, Cloud," he replied, chuckling. "I'm not entirely sure that's such a good idea."

"Why not?" Cloud replied stubbornly, sticking out his chin. He was still seated in the shopping cart, looking up at Reno as the Turk pushed him around. Suddenly, Cloud stood up in the cart, grabbed Reno by the shoulders, and pulled him in, kissing him. "Shit, Cloud," Reno whispered, breaking the kiss slightly, but still barely touching his lips to Cloud's, "you…keep surprising me, yo."

"Is that…bad?" Cloud asked hesitantly, frowning. "Am I…are we…going to regret everything in the morning?"

Reno stroked Cloud's hair briefly, and smiled. "Well," he replied, "I sure as hell don't plan on it. And neither should you." He hoisted Cloud out of the shopping cart and braced him against one of the freezer doors, kissing him fiercely, and running his hands up and down Cloud's torso, causing the cadet to moan. Cloud's hands wandered up Reno's back, feeling the lean muscle there, then raked his fingers through his ponytail. "Oh, fuck yeah," Reno muttered.

"Well, well, well!" interrupted Sephiroth, who had just come upon Cloud and Reno groping each other. Genesis was right behind him, chuckling at the sight before him. "Didn't take you long, did it," Genesis observed, giggling. " 'Just get a fucking room, yo!' Isn't that what you always say to me and Seph?" he teased.

"Oh, fuck YOU, Genesis," Reno muttered. "We were just, ah, um….ah," the Turk stuttered uncomfortably.

"Getting ice cream," Cloud said, finishing Reno's sentence for him. "Thank you, Cloud," murmured Reno. "Yeah. Getting ice cream. _That's_ what we were doing."

"Clearly," Sephiroth remarked dryly. "Here's a hint, gentlemen: the ice cream is in those freezers there," he said, pointing. "Not behind Reno's tonsils, nor is it down the front of Cloud's pants."

"Well, that's good that it's not in my pants," Cloud said, giggling. "Because it would have fucking melted by now."

Reno grinned at Cloud, then asked Sephiroth and Genesis, "Where the hell are Angeal and Zack, by the way?"

"Who knows?" Genesis replied, shrugging. "Probably arguing over which is better: stout versus lager, if I know Angeal."

Sephiroth chuckled at that. "Yeah. That sounds about right," the general agreed, smirking.

"So, ice cream, yes? "Sephiroth began. "Let's just get this shit and get out of here. In case I haven't mentioned it yet? I still need to pick up my twenty fucking pizzas, which are waiting for me."

Cloud chuckled. "I still can't believe we're getting twenty pizzas for six people," he commented.

"That's how Sephiroth rolls, yo," said Reno, grinning. "I hope they're keeping that shit warm for you, Seph."

"They said they would, yes," replied Sephiroth. "Antoine was very nice about it when I called, I told him we were running late. You know, if you get a good pizza guy, you do NOT want to piss him off!" Sephiroth stated, with much authority. Reno and Cloud nodded, agreeing with this sensible bit of advice.

Sephiroth suddenly began looking around him, confused. "Wasn't…Genesis just here, like seconds ago?" he asked Reno and Cloud. "Where…is he? Where did he go?"

Cloud and Reno both shrugged their shoulders. "No idea, yo," he replied. "We were talking about ice cream, and then…"

Suddenly a droning voice came over the PA system.

"_Infinite in mystery is the gift of the goddess  
We seek it thus, and take to the sky  
Ripples form on the water's surface  
The wandering soul knows no rest"_

_._Sephiroth groaned and rolled his eyes. "Holy mother of Gaia, Genesis," Sephiroth complained. "You'll get us thrown out of here for sure! Reciting fucking Loveless again, for the billionth time, gods! And this time, over the goddamned PA!" He stomped off toward the front of store, apparently wanting to put a stop to this.

Reno and Cloud stood there for a minute or so, staring at each other, then bursting into a fit of giggles. "Oh, Gaia," squeaked Cloud, chuckling. "We are all pretty fucked up right now, aren't we?"

"Yeah," replied Reno, smirking. "But…not too fucked up that I don't know what I'm doing, either," he said, wrapping his arms around Cloud again, and kissing him slowly. Out of the corner of his eye, Reno spied the endless rows of ice cream in the freezer displays…and abruptly got a mental image of eating ice cream…off of Cloud. _Oh, sweet Shiva.  
_

"Hurry," commanded Reno, suddenly feeling a sense of urgency – along with a raging hard-on. He flung open the freezer door and threw several pints of ice cream into the shopping cart.

"I know, I'm sorry, I've delayed us," Cloud apologized. "Sephiroth needs to get his pizzas…"

"I don't give a fuck about Sephiroth or his nine hundred pizzas, yo," muttered Reno. "I'm wondering what flavor ice cream goes best with…"

"With chocolate sauce?" Cloud interrupted, holding up a jar of hot fudge sauce he had taken from a nearby display.

"No. I mean - yes, get that too, but…what I was going to say, was," Reno continued, suddenly feeling _quite_ sober, "what flavor goes best with _you_, Cloud."

Cloud swallowed hard, and locked eyes with Reno. He looked into the freezer, and grabbed a pint of ice cream, handing it over to Reno. "This one," Cloud told him, not looking away from Reno's piercing gaze.

Reno took the container from Cloud and read the label to see what flavor it was. A grin lit up his face as he read the whimsical ice cream flavor to himself.

The flavor Cloud had chosen was called **Pop My Cherry Bomb Parfait**.

_Oh fuck yeah!_ Reno thought, chuckling, as he placed the ice cream in the shopping cart.

* * *

**A/N: Yeah, that ice cream flavor doesn't exist, obviously. But it SHOULD.**

**and P.S. - there's definitely more chapters coming. I am having too much damned fun writing this, that I'm not about to stop! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Finally, chapter two! Full of more crack, and also a lemon. :)**

**Same disclaimers apply...don't own FF, alas, Square Enix does; and, drugs are bad. **

**

* * *

**

Giggling like schoolgirls, Cloud and Reno made their way through the aisles of the supermarket, impulsively throwing food haphazardly into the shopping cart – anything that caught their fancy was chucked right in, without any forethought. "Oh my GODS, Cloud!" Reno crowed excitedly in the snack aisle. "THEY HAVE FUNYUNS!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, jumping up and down joyously. "Oh, I FUCKING LOVE THESE!" he shouted gleefully.

"Obviously," Cloud replied, laughing, as he steered the shopping cart toward where Reno was standing. "What are they, though?" he inquired. "I've never tried those," he said, pointing at the bag.

A horrified look crossed Reno's face as he gasped audibly. "You've never _tried_ these, Cloud?" the Turk asked him, quite alarmed. "No, no, no….that isn't _right_, we need to do something about that!" Pausing but a moment, Reno grinned at Cloud, and tore the bag of Funyuns open. "Here, try this!" Reno insisted, taking a Funyun out of the bag and shoving it into Cloud's mouth.

"They're….good, Reno," Cloud said, grinning while he chewed. "A bit…salty. But shouldn't we pay for our food before we start eating it?"

"Hah," Reno scoffed, smirking, as he threw the opened snack bag back into the shopping cart. "Details, details! Come on, Cloud…let's go see what Seph's up to." Shrugging his shoulders, Cloud turned the shopping cart around, and headed toward the front of the store. Reno hung back a bit, grinning wolfishly as he took in the sight of the cadet's well-muscled ass.

Cloud advanced a bit down the aisle, before he realized Reno wasn't right behind him. He glanced back quizzically, and spotted Reno about twenty feet behind. "What's wrong, Reno, you forget something?" Cloud asked.

"Nah, nothing," Reno replied. "Just…admiring the view," he said, grinning suggestively.

"Oh," Cloud replied, turning beet red. Knowing that Reno was checking him out, only served to make Cloud even hornier than he already was. "Maybe…we should get going, Reno," Cloud mumbled, hoping that the Turk didn't realize he had just popped a boner.

_Too late_. "Looks like you're happy to see me, huh, Cloud?" Reno purred, as he approached Cloud, his eyes traveling over the cadet's crotch. "Me too," he whispered breathlessly, as he closed the distance between himself and Cloud, grabbing the cadet by the shoulders, and pressing his back into the handle of the shopping cart. "I can't keep my fucking hands off of you, Cloud…I don't know what it is about you, yo," Reno murmured, as he nibbled the expanse of his neck, causing the cadet to gasp.

"I…I don't know what it is, either…about you, Reno. You are making me unbelievably horny," Cloud said, groaning, as he felt Reno's tongue snake along his collarbone. "But I…really think we should get out of here, you know."

Reno halted his assault on Cloud's neck, and smiled down at him. "Yeah. I know," Reno said wryly, as he glanced down at his own bulging crotch. "Believe me, I _know_." He laughed.

"Come on," he said. "Seph was heading toward the service desk, I think…and who the hell knows where Zack and Angeal are."

"Weren't they getting beer?" Cloud inquired, as they reached the front of the store. "Oh gods," the cadet said, stopping short as he caught sight of Sephiroth and Genesis at the service desk, where only minutes before, Genesis had taken over the PA system.

"What the fuck are they doing, yo?" Reno asked Cloud, as the two of them approached the desk quietly. Genesis was laying on his back on the counter, with Sephiroth on top of him; the two were making out, and groping each other. Genesis's hand had worked its way down the general's backside, as Sephiroth buried his tongue in his lover's eager mouth. The manager on duty was standing to the side, looking rather helpless as he asked the couple to _please get off of the counter, or I will call the police._

"Gods, Sephiroth," Reno complained as he approached the pair, "you two are fucking unbelievable."

Sephiroth stopped what he was doing, and raised his head to glare at Reno. "For one thing," he retorted, "I could say the same about you and that cadet, molesting each other near the fudge ripple. And another thing – you should be thanking me, sir," he barked, pointing his finger at the manager. "Really, this is the only way I could get Genesis to shut up, was to jump him. And here we are."

"You…only did that to make me stop talking?" Genesis asked, appearing crushed. "I thought you liked it when I recited passages from LOVELESS?"

Sephiroth laughed dryly. "I liked it the first few times, perhaps. And after that, I let on that I liked it more than I did, just so I could get into your pants."

Genesis gasped. "You….you bastard!" he spat, as he kicked his legs up, extricating himself from underneath Sephiroth. "What if….what if I pretended to enjoy…I don't know, sucking your _cock_, for example?" Genesis demanded, scowling at Sephiroth.

"But you _do_ enjoy sucking my cock, Genesis," Sephiroth replied, chuckling.

"That's beside the point!" Genesis shouted, clearly exasperated. "I'm not speaking to you _ever again_!" he said dramatically.

"Ha," chuckled Sephiroth. "We'll see how long this lasts. Come on," he said to Cloud and Reno. Let's find Zack and Angeal…they were last seen in the liquor department."

"Liquor in the front, poker in the rear," Reno quipped, grinning.

"Huh?" Cloud said quizzically.

"Um, nothing, yo," Reno said, snickering. "Let's find those two knobs and get the fuck out of here. We have…things to attend to," he murmured to Cloud, as he met the cadet's lustful gaze.

"Yeah," Cloud mumbled dumbly. "Things."

"This way," Sephiroth commanded, leading the remaining three toward the liquor department, with Genesis pouting, and trudging along behind everyone sullenly. "Jerkoff," he muttered at Sephiroth's retreating figure. "See if you'll find anyone else who'll fuck you at the drop of a hat like _I _do."

Sephiroth stopped in his tracks, and turned around, casting a bemused grin at Genesis. "I thought you weren't speaking to me ever again, Genesis?" Sephiroth inquired sardonically, smirking at his sulking lover.

"Oh! You're _horrid_! I _hate you_!" Genesis cried, shoving ahead of everyone, and heading toward the wine section. "I shall make love to a bottle of merlot then, instead of the likes of _you_!" he shouted tearfully at Sephiroth, as he trotted over to a display of red wines. Sephiroth grinned, and shoved his hands in his pockets, walking right past Genesis as if he wasn't even there.

"Is he…is he going to be okay?" Cloud asked Sephiroth hesitantly.

Sephiroth chuckled. "Oh, he'll be fine. Genesis gets into these snits all the time. He's such a little bitch."

Reno snickered. "Maybe he needs another hit at the hookah, yo," he suggested.

"I agree," Sephiroth said, nodding. "And as soon as we can find our comrades, we're out of here. Ah…here they are," he commented, as he came to the beer section. Suddenly, Sephiroth scowled at the sight before him. "Oh, for Gaia's sake," the general muttered. "Do you believe this shit?" he asked Reno and Cloud, turning to them.

Zack was upside down, holding onto the handles of a keg with both hands. "Hey, you guys!" he called to the others as he saw them approach. "I'm doing keg stands! I'm starting to feel…dizzy, though…"

"I wonder why, yo," Reno remarked, snickering. "Uh, Fair…where's Angeal?"

"Um," Zack muttered, gasping, as the blood rushed to his head. "He…went to sample something in the microbrew section. They're giving out free samples…"

"Free samples! Of beer?" Reno shrieked as he ran toward the back corner of the store, shoving everyone out of his way, nearly clocking Sephiroth in the face with his EMR. "Come on, Cloud!" he shouted, as he glanced back at the dumbstruck cadet. "What are you waiting for, it's FREE FUCKING BEER!"

Shrugging his shoulders, Cloud trotted over to catch up with Reno. "You know, Reno, the guys are buying beer to bring back to the house," he commented.

"I know, yo, but this is free. Alcohol. I never turn down free alcohol," Reno replied, smiling. "Oh shit….looks like they're out of samples, yo," Reno remarked sadly, as they came to the tasting booth. "Look at the sign, it says they're all out."

"That's because I drank them all," said Angeal, who popped up from behind the tasting booth, where he'd been hiding. "I was just, uh…taking a nap back here," he mumbled, swaying slightly as he got to his feet..

"Taking a nap, huh?" Reno replied, smirking. "You sure you didn't pass out or some shit?"

"I'm fine, Turk," Angeal retorted, folding his arms across his chest. "Just…need a minute."

At that moment, Sephiroth stalked over to the group, looking furious. "Need I remind you gentlemen, that I have TWENTY FUCKING PIZZAS awaiting pickup? Let's get our shit, and get out of here, now!"

"You didn't seem to be in a huge hurry when you were humping Genesis at the service desk, yo," Reno commented, with a wry smirk.

"Up your _ass_, Reno," Sephiroth snapped.

"With any luck, I _will_ be," muttered Cloud, which earned him a very surprised stare, and a huge grin from Reno.

"What?" asked Cloud, puzzled. "Oh, fuck. That was out loud, wasn't it?" he asked, wincing.

"Uh, yeah, it was," Reno replied, laughing. "Like I said, though," he said huskily, as he turned to Cloud, "we have things to attend to later, you and I." Cloud said nothing, but blushed fiercely, turning an even deeper pink shade than he already was.

Huffing, Sephiroth turned on his heel, and stomped back toward the front of the store. Reno chuckled. "Fucking drama queens, all of them," he chortled. "Come on, Angeal," Reno said, urging the buzzed SOLDIER along. "Yo, Zack, you need help with that shit?" Reno asked him.

"Nah, I'm good, I've got it," Zack replied, hoisting the keg up, and carrying it out with him. "This is all paid for, too…I was just fucking around."He grinned widely at Angeal, who raised an eyebrow at this. "You…you've just been screwing around this whole time?" Angeal inquired. "I was _waiting_ for you to pay, Zack, then come back and get me," he complained.

"I'll make it up to you later, babe," Zack promised. "Hey, get some of that microbrew shit if you want," he said, nodding his head toward a display as they passed by. "Since you're too good to drink out of my _generic_ keg," Zack said teasingly.

"Already did," Angeal replied, grinning, and revealing a twelve-pack of stout he had tucked under his arm. "I don't know how you can drink that shit, Zack. It's panther piss!"

Everyone converged at the checkout line, where Genesis was practically smoldering with rage at Sephiroth. He had already paid for his purchases, and was waiting by the door with Sephiroth, who was tapping his foot, impatiently. "My pizzas will be MOLDY by the time you fools are through paying!" Sephiroth bellowed.

"Keep your pants on, yo," Reno told Sephiroth, popping an unlit cigarette into his mouth.

"Sir," the cashier warned Reno, "there's no smoking allowed in here—"

"I know that, Toots," Reno replied, interrupting her. "Don't worry, doll, I ain't lighting up in here, I'll do it outside."

"Toots?" Cloud echoed, giggling, as he began emptying the cart.

"Fascinating," said Angeal. He watched, dazedly, as cashier passed items over the scanner, grinning stupidly every time it beeped. "Zack, did you _see_ that? How does it KNOW the price? I mean, every single time!" he remarked with amazement.

"Zack," whispered Cloud worriedly, "is…Angeal okay?"

Zack chuckled. "Nah, he's fucking _wasted_. And now he's got a beer buzz on top of it. But don't worry Cloud, this is a good thing. Angeal is a _lot_ more fun this way. Trust me!"

Sephiroth apparently felt that things weren't moving quickly enough for his liking, so he stomped back over to the checkout line to see what the holdup was. "Strife!" he barked. "Gods, how much shit did you and Reno buy, anyway?"

"We…we were hungry," Cloud mumbled uncomfortably, as he threw a package of Double Stuf Oreos onto the conveyer belt.

"Some of this is for later, yo," Reno said, winking at Cloud, as he put a half gallon jug of maple syrup on the belt. Cloud's face turned a lovely shade of magenta.

"For the love of Gaia," Sephiroth muttered. "Now you two," he warned, as he wagged a finger at Reno and Cloud, "had better just go ahead and fuck each other's brains out, when we get back so I don't have to deal with all this fucking _tension_ between the two of you!"

Cloud froze where he was, awkwardly holding a banana in each hand. "Um…what?" he said, feigning innocence.

"Oh come on, Strife," snapped Sephiroth. "You and Reno were making out in the ice cream aisle, for Gaia's sake, don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about."

"Ooh, bananas, Cloud?" purred Genesis. "Kinky! I like it!"

Cloud threw the bananas on the conveyor belt, blushing. "Reno, you had better have another fucking blunt on you," Cloud muttered quietly to the Turk.

"Don't worry, yo, we're set," Reno replied, smiling at Cloud. "And hey," he continued, a bit quietly, "don't let Sephiroth get to you. He's just getting antsy because he wants his fucking pizzas."

Cloud grinned. "Yeah, I know," he replied. "Sephiroth may have a point, though...we kind of went overboard here, didn't we? Hey, what's that powdered sugar for?" Cloud inquired, pointing.

"Oh, that..." Reno moved in closer to Cloud and whispered, "You'll find out later...and I'm pretty sure you'll like it," he teased.

Cloud honestly thought he might pass out of embarrassment, right there in the checkout lane, which would certainly enrage Sephiroth even further; so he clenched his jaw, gripped the edge of the checkout stand, and somehow managed to keep himself steady. The cashier had finally reached the end of their very large order, and gave the total to Reno, who had his wallet out, ready to pay.

"That'll be one-hundred and ninety-two gil, sir," she informed him, in a bored monotone.

"What!" shrieked Reno, disbelieving. "_How_ much? We only got...a few things!" he protested, as he glanced at the items, now nicely bagged and placed in the shopping cart. _Twelve bags...shopping cart filled to the top...oh shit_, Reno thought. _I guess we got...carried away. _Grinning, he produced the required amount of gil notes, and handed them over to the cashier. "Sorry about that, yo," he said to the cashier, winking at her. "Next time maybe I should make a list."

Sephiroth had commandeered the shopping cart before Reno could even pocket his change, and was flying out the door into the parking lot. "Come on!" he bellowed to the men trailing behind him, his silver hair flowing wildly in his wake.

The general came to a sudden halt, and shrieked. "Genesis!" he shouted. "Where did I park my truck?" Eyes darting about the parking lot hastily and worriedly, Sephiroth grew increasingly frantic. "Shitfuck!" Sephiroth muttered as he placed a tightly rolled unlit joint in his mouth. "Reno, got a light?" he asked the Turk.

"Yeah, sure," Reno replied, rummaging in his pockets for his Zippo lighter, and handing it to the general. Sephiroth quickly lit the joint, and snapped the lighter shut, handing it back to Reno. "Now, seriously, Reno…Cloud," Sephiroth said as he took a drag, and eyeballed the contents of the shopping cart, "just…what the fuck did you buy in there?"

"Eh, you know," Reno replied lazily. "Little bit of this, little bit of that…"

The crisp evening air seemed to sober Angeal up slightly; he was starting to stumble a bit less while walking, for one thing. He squinted into the dimly lit perimeter of the parking lot, a bit surprised that Sephiroth's gargantuan vehicle wasn't visible at all. "Where did we last see it?" Angeal asked of nobody in particular.

"It was…." Sephiroth began, thinking for a moment, "I don't know! In the fucking parking lot out here, somewhere! You asshats are supposed to keep track of these things for me, you know," he barked at everyone.

"_We're_ supposed to keep track of _your_ truck, and where _you_ park it?" Reno inquired, grinning. "Have I got that right?"

"There's a lot of things Sephiroth can't find," Genesis remarked, a bit too loudly, as he rolled his eyes. This earned him a searing glare from the general.

"Sephiroth," Cloud said quietly. "Do you…have your keys on you?"

"Why yes, they're right here," Sephiroth replied, handing them over. "But as you can see, there is no VEHICLE visible for miles," he said dramatically, "so I don't see what you think you can possibly—"

Cloud took the keys from Sephiroth and pressed the button on the remote, holding it, until the telltale chirp sounded, revealing the location of the truck—parked behind a dumpster in the middle of the parking lot. "It's over there, Sephiroth," Cloud said, grinning, as he pointed across the parking lot and handed Sephiroth's keys back to him.

Clapping a hand to his mouth in shock, Sephiroth took the keys from Cloud, gazing in wonderment at him. "Cadet Strife!" he exclaimed. "No – make that _Corporal_ Strife, I'm promoting you! You are a fucking _genius_, you found my truck!"

Cloud shrugged his shoulders, a bit embarrassed , and murmured a quick, "Uh…thank you, sir!" to Sephiroth. "I…appreciate it, but…"

"No buts, Strife," Sephiroth said firmly, clapping a hand on Cloud's shoulder. "This is the type of initiative I like to see!"

"But all I did was…" Cloud began, but then noticed Reno smiling and shaking his head 'no' at him – and suddenly, Cloud figured it'd be stupid to look a gift horse in the mouth. "All I did," Cloud continued, babbling at this point, "was use logic, and reasoning…" _And fucking common sense, _Cloud thought.

"Yes, excellent, excellent," Sephiroth agreed, nodding, as they all made their way back to Sephiroth's truck. He unlocked the doors, so that everyone could deposit their purchases in the back. Zack and Angeal placed the keg in first, and crawled in behind it, heading toward the front of the truck to find seats, with Angeal goosing Zack the entire time. "Angeeeeeal, quit it!" Zack whined, while Angeal giggled stupidly, still buzzed off of his beer samples.

"Not too bad, yo," Reno commented to Cloud, as they loaded grocery bags into Sephiroth's truck. "Seems you impressed the general with your…quick thinking." He grinned at Cloud, elbowing him.

"Reno, please," Cloud protested. "You know I didn't do shit, I just pressed the button on his remote!"

"Don't argue with the man. Ride the wave, Cloud," Reno whispered conspiratorially to him. "Ride the fucking wave, yo." _I've got something else you can ride, too…_

Everyone finally got into the truck, and Sephiroth threw himself behind the wheel, joint still firmly clenched between his teeth. "Seph, give 'er here," Genesis pleaded. "I want a hit."

"Oh, so you're speaking to me again, bitchface?" Sephiroth snapped, as he slammed the transmission through the gears and peeled out of the parking lot.

"Don't be like that, Sephy," Genesis whimpered, inching himself toward Sephiroth, and snaking his hand in between the general's legs, causing him to jerk the steering wheel and weave into oncoming traffic. "Fuck!" Sephiroth shouted, as he righted the wheel, suddenly slowing down and pulling over to the next side street, parking in front of a pizza shop. "Genesis, will you help me get the pizzas…please?" he asked, sounding unusually apologetic.

Still pouting, Genesis stuck out his bottom lip and frowned. "I don't know…you _were_ very mean to me, Seph," he whined.

"Hmm," Sephiroth murmured, considering this. Brightening, he said, "How about I make it up to you, by fucking you senseless when we get back home?"

Genesis beamed. "It's a deal!" He bounded out of the vehicle after Sephiroth, and they headed into the pizza shop.

* * *

Cloud giggled in the backseat, observing all of this. "Are they…always like this?" he asked Zack.

"Yeah, pretty much," Zack replied, grinning easily.

"Oh, before I forget," Reno muttered, "gotta fire this up." He reached into his jacket pocket for another blunt, then stuck in his mouth and lit it, taking a deep drag. "Mmm," he murmured, sighing. "Want some, Cloud?" he asked.

"Oh yeah," Cloud replied eagerly, taking the blunt from Reno. He took a hit, and suddenly seemed to realize the location of Reno's hand; directly on his thigh. His _inner _thigh. "Reno," Cloud gasped, as he handed the blunt over to Angeal. "Thanks, man," Angeal said, grinning. He was feeling no pain, and starting to get his second wind.

"Angeal…why don't we take that blunt in the back seat," Zack suggested, grinning at his lover.

"A fine idea," Angeal said, puffing away at the blunt still in his mouth, as he crawled toward the back seat, following Zack.

"Looks like they're up to no good," Cloud observed, chuckling. "And they've got your blunt!"

"Not a big deal," Reno replied casually, pulling Cloud onto his lap so he was straddling the Turk's narrow hips. "All I want is you right now, Cloud," he whispered, kissing him easily. Cloud felt his groin stir as he felt Reno's hardness grinding upward into his own. "Sweet Shiva, Reno," Cloud murmured, moaning. "I…I don't even care about how hungry I am anymore," Cloud stuttered. "I just want to….just want to…" He broke off, suddenly incapable of speech, or forming complete sentences. It didn't matter, as Reno knew exactly what Cloud was trying to say.

"I know, Cloud," Reno said breathlessly, wrapping his arms tightly around Cloud's waist, and kissing him again. "I know."

"Reno," Cloud gasped. "Your...hand..." The hand in question was now boldly grabbing Cloud's crotch, stroking it up and down.

"Huh? What, Cloud?" Reno said absently, not even realizing where his hand was until he saw Cloud staring down at it; it was as if his hand was operating on its own brain power. "Oh," he said, grinning, but still not removing his hand. "That...feel okay?" he asked Cloud hesitantly, as he slowly moved his hand up and down Cloud's leg, inching it ever closer to his crotch.

"Yeah," whispered Cloud, unable - and unwilling - to move. "Feels...good, Reno," he mumbled, trying to catch his breath. Facing Reno, Cloud grabbed the Turk by the back of the head, and turned his head to face him, and kissed him - gently, at first, then twining his fingers into the redhead's ponytail, snaked his tongue into Reno's mouth.

"Fuck, Cloud," Reno gasped, turning to face Cloud, and pulling him in even closer. "You have a...talented tongue."

"Oh yeah?" murmured Cloud, diving into Reno's neck and gently biting and sucking, as his hands wandered further south. "Motherfucking son of a _whore_, you turn me on," Reno said, moaning into Cloud's hair.

* * *

Zack and Angeal, giggling, had settled on the large bench seat that ran down the side of Sephiroth's gargantuan limo-truck vehicle. They quickly killed the blunt, and grinned stupidly at each other through the haze of thick smoke. Suddenly, Angeal got a strange look in his eye, and, smirking, pulled Zack down on top of him, his huge, sword-calloused hands running down the back of Zack's pants, slipping down beneath the waistband, as he cupped Zack's well-muscled buttocks. _Gods, what an ass on him_, Angeal thought as he admired Zack's form, and he thanked Gaia that Zack loved to do squats as much as he did. Angeal had some definite plans for that perfect ass, and he prayed to Shiva he wouldn't be too high to execute those plans.

"Oh gods, Angeal," Zack moaned, grinding himself down onto Angeal, who pulled Zack in even tighter for a crushing kiss.

"Mmm, Zack," Angeal murmured, smiling up at Zack as he locked eyes with him. "Take them off," he said quietly, tugging at Zack's pants. "I want to see you."

Suddenly seeming to realize there were others in the vehicle besides themselves, Zack glanced toward the front, and was relieved to see that Reno and Cloud were occupied with each other. _Very_ occupied with each other. _No_, Zack reasoned, _they won't notice a thing._

Straddling Angeal, Zack sat up and deftly removed his shirt, followed by his pants. Angeal raised an eyebrow amusedly, and asked, "Going commando, are we?"

"Yeah," Zack replied, moving down onto Angeal, as his hands fumbled with the front of Angeal's pants. "Underwear is stupid. It just gets in the fucking way."

Angeal laughed at this. "Yeah," he murmured, making a mental note to never wear his boxers again. "I'll say." Zack's knuckles grazed against Angeal's rigid cock, causing him to moan uncontrollably. "Gods, Zack," he groaned.

"Holy shit, Angeal," Zack said, gulping, as he eyed Angeal's member, now freed from the constricting pants. It certainly wasn't the first time Zack had seen it, of course, but it never ceased to amaze him how well-endowed his lover was. To put it plainly, Angeal was hung like a bull.

"Something wrong, baby?" Angeal asked Zack quietly, as his hands gently stroked the small of Zack's backside.

"Nothing at all," Zack replied. "I was just…noticing, how ready you are, Ang." He grinned as he lowered himself down, rubbing his own erection against Angeal's.

"Fuck," Angeal groaned, as he grasped Zack's hips, pulling his lover in closer, their erections rubbing against each other teasingly. "Oh _fuck_, Zack," he moaned.

"We'll do that in a minute," Zack whispered, still grinding on Angeal. He liked nothing better than to tease Angeal like this. Soon, the two forgot where they even were, or that there were others seated near them inside the same vehicle, just a stone's throw away.

* * *

Suddenly the door opened, and there stood Sephiroth and Genesis, each bearing ten pizza boxes. Sighing, Sephiroth rolled his eyes and thrust the pizza boxes toward Reno and Cloud. "When you two are through dry humping each other, could you hold onto these?" he asked them, without really waiting for an answer.

Murmuring a quiet string of expletives under his breath, Cloud removed himself reluctantly from Reno's lap, and sat back in his seat, taking the pizza boxes from the general. Genesis followed suit in shoving ten pizza boxes into Reno's lap. "Talk about a cold fucking shower, yo," Reno muttered irritably. "What the fuck, yo!"

Genesis laughed as he got into the front passenger seat next to Sephiroth. "Sorry about that," he said apologetically, glancing back at Cloud and Reno. "Seph's right though…you two need to get that shit out of your system. Don't worry…we'll let you have some _alone time_ when we get back."

Reno glared at Genesis from behind his stack of pizza boxes. "Well, isn't this fucking special," he complained. "At least," Reno continued, smiling at Cloud, who was barely visible behind his pile of pizza boxes, "they'll leave us the fuck alone when we get back. Because I really want to get you _alone_, Cloud." Cloud nearly flinched as he caught Reno's lust-filled gaze. The Turk meant business, and it was making Cloud hornier than he'd ever been in his life.

"Yeah," Cloud whispered, barely able to catch his breath, never mind complete a sentence. "Alone...sounds nice."

* * *

"I…want…," Angeal managed to get out, gasping. "Inside. You."

Zack slowed his pace, and positioned himself over Angeal, when he suddenly realized something.

"Um, Ang?" he squeaked out. "We don't have any lube."

"Shit," muttered Angeal. "Is there…anything in Reno's bags over there?" he whispered, pointing to the array of grocery bags on the floor near them. Shrugging, Zack quickly scooted over to the bags, and quickly rummaged through them. "Aha!" Zack crowed, locating a container of lube. "Looks like Reno's expecting to bag Cloud later, eh?"

"We shouldn't really be stealing his lube," Angeal whispered, suddenly feeling guilty.

"Aw, fuck it," Zack said cheerily, already having opened the package and squirting the substance on his fingers, which he then applied to Angeal's shaft, working his hand up and down in slow, torturous strokes. "He'll get over it. We need it more than he does, right now," he commented, smirking.

"You ready for me, babe?" Zack inquired, straddling Angeal once again, and positioning himself over his cock. He slowly and carefully lowered himself downward as Angeal gently rolled his hips upward, wanting Zack to feel every last inch as it entered him. "Ifrit's fucking balls, you feel good, Angeal," Zack murmured, groaning in ecstasy. He felt Angeal's entire length inside him now, and leaned his hips forward slightly rolling them as Angeal thrust in and out, feeling as if he might drown in Zack's clenching heat.

"Shitfuckdamn," muttered Angeal as he came in rolling waves, grunting, and pulling Zack down to him, forcefully kissing him.

"Oh gods, Angeal, I'm gonna… Zack never finished the sentence as he released his load, the hot liquid spilling onto Angeal's stomach.

Angeal groaned, and kissed Zack again. "Love you," he murmured.

Zack sighed contentedly. "Love you too," he whispered. "Hey," he said, a bit more loudly, as he grinned. "I don't think they even fucking heard us, Angeal!"

"Good," Angeal replied, smiling, as he wrapped his arms around Zack's waist again, hugging him. "I guess it's a good thing they're so occupied, then. " Angeal looked up out the window, suddenly seeming to realize they were in motion. "Um, Zack?" he said quizzically. "When did we start moving again? I thought we were still at the pizza shop waiting for Seph?"

Zack guffawed. "I…have no idea, Ang," he replied, grinning. "Oh fuck!" he exclaimed as the vehicle came to a stop. "We're…home again. And, we're naked, and sticky, in the back of Sephiroth's truck."

"Oh shit," Angeal groaned, as he quickly moved to get his pants back on, while Zack did the same. "Um—"

The next thing Angeal and Zack saw, was Sephiroth's head poking in through the door; he appeared to be about to say something, but took one look at the pair, in varying states of undress, and simply shook his head.

Zack and Angeal breathed a collective sigh of relief as Sephiroth exited the vehicle; but, just a moment later, he reappared.

"You two," the general said seriously, "are going to fucking detail my truck now, you got it?"

"Oops," Zack replied, grinning. "Um, sorry. We'll...be inside shortly." Sephiroth waved his hand at them, and trudged into the house.

"I need a fucking beer after that," Angeal said simply, and popped one open from the twelve-pack he had purchased.

* * *

**A/N: Funyuns are the f'ing BOMB. And they just seem so very _Reno_, for some reason. XD**


	3. Chapter 3

Shaking his head irritably, Sephiroth slammed the door of his truck, giving Angeal and Zack a moment alone so they could gather themselves together. _Really_, Sephiroth thought, slightly annoyed. _Those two are getting as bad as me and Genesis. _He smiled, in spite of his momentary irritation with the pair_. I guess I can't blame them_, he thought wryly, grinning. _Besides, it's not like it's the first time anyone's fucked back there. _

The general laughed as he entered the house, and made his way directly to the kitchen, where a veritable mountain of pizza boxes awaited him. Cloud and Reno were unloading their motherlode of groceries, and Genesis was snapping at both of them. "Good Gaia, I don't know what the fuck you two were thinking," Genesis complained. "Look at all this shit! Why'd you buy so goddamned much food? And _none_ of it has any nutritive value. I mean, come on, Reno – Funyuns? _Really_?" he said, holding up the bag, raising an eyebrow.

Frowning, Reno snatched the Funyuns back from Genesis, and retorted, "Don't lecture me on nutrition, yo. Your boyfriend just ordered _twenty fucking pizzas_!"

Cloud remained silent as he unloaded grocery bags, not wanting to get in the middle of Reno's argument with Sephiroth's lover – and trying his damnedest not to laugh.

"What are you two arguing about now, for the love of Minerva!" Sephiroth inquired loudly, upon entering the kitchen. "You know, the two of you, pissing and moaning at each other, you're really bringing down my mellow," Sephiroth complained. "Reno, fire up that hookah again, would you? I think Gen here could benefit from another hit…or ten," the general concluded, giving Genesis a knowing look.

"Yeah," Reno said, nodding. "I think that's a good idea. Cloud, meet me in the living room in a few, okay?"

Cloud smiled and nodded at Reno. "Okay," he replied. "I'll just put this shit away, then I'll be right there."

"What was _that_ remark supposed to mean?" Genesis asked Sephiroth irritably.

"It means," Sephiroth said evenly, as he slowly slid his hand up the back of Genesis's neck, causing him to shudder, "that you need to relax, baby. We're going to eat, and then…" he broke off, as he nuzzled Genesis's neck, wrapping him in an embrace as he grabbed a handful of ass.

"Mmm," Genesis purred agreeably. "I love 'and then.' How many times will we do 'and then'?" he inquired, grinning cheekily.

"Until I wear you the fuck out," Sephiroth growled, kissing Genesis fiercely. "Now, go on," he commanded, smacking Genesis in the ass, dismissing him. "Go see Reno, he'll set you up. I'll be in there in a few minutes." Smiling, Genesis gave Sephiroth a quick kiss on the lips, then trotted out of the kitchen into the living room. Genesis wasn't about to turn down free weed – and the stuff Reno had brought, from Tseng's Wutaian aunt, was some of the best shit he had ever smoked.

Cloud was rearranging items in the freezer, trying to make space for all of the ice cream he and Reno had bought at the store. "So," began Sephiroth, leaning back on the counter, arms folded as he addressed Cloud. "What's going on with you and the Turk?"

"I—I don't really _know_ what's going on," Cloud stuttered, as he nervously dropped a pint of ice cream on his foot. He bent down to retrieve it, and as he stood up, smashed his head on the open freezer door. "Fuck!" Cloud groaned, rubbing the lump on his head.

Sephiroth chuckled. "Don't be so nervous, Cloud," he said soothingly. "I think you need another go at that hookah, too. You just seem…really nervous and excited, all of a sudden."

"Well, of course I'm excited," retorted Cloud. "Reno's had his hands all over me, all night. Not that I mind," Cloud added, giggling.

"No," Sephiroth said, smiling. "That much is obvious. Look…I've known Reno for a long time. He won't fuck you over, Cloud. And it's clear that he's…besotted with you."

Cloud just stared at Sephiroth dumbly, not knowing how to respond – or if he even should do so. "Th-thanks, Sephiroth," he finally said, quietly. "That…helps a bit, hearing that."

"Okay then," Sephiroth said, clearing his throat again. "Enough with the heavy discussions and shit. Let's hit that hookah and get ourselves fucking wasted," he remarked, clapping Cloud on the back.

"Sounds good to me," Cloud replied, grinning. He was still a bit confused by the conversation with Sephiroth – and wasn't entirely sure what the general had been driving at in the first place. Still, he somehow felt more at ease after listening to Sephiroth, and was grateful to him for that.

The two made their way to the living room heading toward the hookah to join Reno and Genesis for a hit - only to find the room filled with flying feathers. Both Genesis and Reno were giggling hysterically, and engaged in a pillow fight.

"Gods, Genesis!" muttered Sephiroth, as he sat down near the hookah, grabbed a hose and took a hit. "Cloud, sit the fuck down," the general ordered, winking. "Take a hit _now_, that's a fucking order, _Corporal_."

"Aye, sir," Cloud replied, smiling and giving Sephiroth a mock salute as he sat himself on the floor. He followed Sephiroth's lead, grabbing a hose off of the hookah, and taking a hit. "What the hell are they doing?" Cloud asked Sephiroth as he exhaled, nodding toward Genesis and Reno and grinning. The two were still whacking each other with bed pillows, laughing idiotically as feathers were spewed everywhere. Neither of them had yet taken any notice of Cloud or Sephiroth seated at the hookah.

"Cloud!" Reno shrieked, giggling as he caught sight of the blond, stumbling over toward him. "I didn't ssssee you there, yo," the Turk said, slurring his words slightly. Reno sank to his knees, leaning against Cloud's shoulder; then, he slid down further, laying his head in Cloud's lap. "Ahh," murmured Reno happily. "I like your lap, Cloud. I'd like a lap dance from you, actually, come to think of it," he said, laughing. Reno stole a glance up at Cloud to see if this would elicit a reaction. It did – Cloud was grinning from ear to ear.

"Then maybe," Cloud said quietly, bending his head down toward Reno's, nearly whispering, "maybe…we should go upstairs."

_Yes!_ Reno's brain screamed. "Thought you'd never ask, yo," Reno replied, grinning widely. He extricated himself from Cloud's lap and stood up, grabbing Cloud's arm to help him up as well. Genesis was spitting out mouthfuls of feathers as he took a seat near Sephiroth, still giggling idiotically. "About fucking time, you two," Genesis remarked, grinning. "Don't do anything we wouldn't do," he warned them, and burst out laughing.

Sephiroth chuckled, then frowned slightly. "Genesis," he began, quizzically. "What exactly is there, that we _wouldn't_ do?"

"Bestiality," Genesis replied promptly. "I won't fucking go there, Seph, you _know_ that," he said firmly.

"Ohh," replied Sephiroth, nodding as he took another hit. "Riiiiiiiight. No animals," he agreed, and chortled hysterically along with Genesis.

* * *

"Come on," Cloud whispered, urging Reno along. "Let's bring food up with us, because I'm hungry, and I'm not coming back down here again, once we…well, once we…" Cloud stammered, feeling suddenly nervous, and turning bright red.

"Once we…get going?" Reno supplied, grinning as he threw an arm around Cloud. "Hey, it'll be okay, yo."

"I know it will," Cloud replied, flashing a smile at Reno. Cloud quickly grabbed a plastic grocery bag full of snacks that he had set aside, and the two headed up the stairs, Cloud racing ahead of Reno. He came to a halt as he reached the top of the stairs, and glanced back at Reno a bit sheepishly.

"Something wrong?" Reno asked as he sidled up behind Cloud, his breath tickling Cloud's ear. Reno wrapped his arms around the slim waist, pulling him backwards, and grinding his obvious erection into Cloud's ass.

"Nothing's…wrong, Reno," Cloud gasped, as Reno nibbled along the expanse of his neck. "I just realized…I'm racing ahead of you, and I have no fucking idea where we're going," he said, chuckling.

Reno laughed lightly, and impulsively picked Cloud up to carry him; he stormed ahead to the second bedroom at the left of the corridor. Kicking the door open, Reno kissed Cloud deeply; then, upon entering the room, he kicked the door shut behind them, and flung Cloud onto the bed.

"This one," Reno said, breathing heavily. "This one's the guest bedroom." He pounced upon a stunned Cloud, his hands wandering all over the lithe young body. "Finally," Reno whispered, as his touch grazed over Cloud's groin, eliciting a _definite_ reaction, in the form of an ecstatic sigh. "I finally got you alone, yo."

"I know," Cloud moaned as he ran his hands up Reno's ass. "It's about fucking time. But I'm so worked up, I think I'm going to cum in my pants right now," he fretted.

"Don't do that, yo," Reno murmured. He slid his hands up Cloud's shirt, feeling the toned abdominals underneath. "I've got plans for you this evening…so you'll need to pace yourself."

"I've got plans for you, too, Reno," Cloud replied, grinning. Sitting up, he kissed Reno softly; then, coyly asked him to close his eyes.

Reno raised an eyebrow and chuckled. "Oh?" he inquired. "Is this…some kind of a surprise or something?"

"Yeah, kind of," Cloud replied, smirking. "I want you to…lie on your back, and close your eyes."

"Um…okay, then," Reno answered agreeably. Smiling, he switched places with Cloud, and obeyed as requested, shutting his eyes tightly. "All right…I'm ready, yo." He heard rustling noises, as if Cloud was rifling through a plastic grocery bag. _What the fuck is he up to?_ Reno wondered, grinning, as he felt a blindfold being tied around his eyes. _Holy shit, Cloud_, Reno thought. _I like the way you think… _

Reno suddenly felt Cloud's weight in front of him on the bed. Cloud had settled _in between his legs_. _Oh Gaia,_ Reno thought. _Is he going to do what I think he's going to do?_

"Okay," Cloud said happily, kneeling in between Reno's legs. "Now…make sure you don't open your eyes, Reno!" he warned the Turk.

"What the hell are you going to _do_ to me, Cloud?" Reno asked, grinning.

"You'll see," Cloud replied slyly. "Actually…you won't see a damned thing, will you?" He laughed softly at this. "But you'll _feel_ everything."

"Oh, fuck yeah, I will," Reno growled appreciatively. He felt Cloud's weight bearing down on his legs; the next thing Reno felt, were Cloud's fingers fumbling around his belt, unbuckling it. Cloud impulsively captured Reno's lips in a kiss, then turned his attentions back toward his main goal. He slid Reno's pants down and off, tossing them in a heap by the foot of the bed.

The next sound Reno heard, was much like paper being torn; as if a packet were being opened. The Turk smiled, and unconsciously spread his legs further out in anticipation of what was to come. He felt warm hands grazing up his thighs, as Cloud settled his body down in between Reno's legs once again.

"What are you doing, yo," Reno murmured distractedly. "Gods, Cloud, you are getting me all worked up…and you're so quiet all of a sudden."

"Mmm," Cloud grunted. "Mm hmm!"

_He's got something in his mouth_, Reno realized. _What the…. _The Turk gasped as he felt warm lips grazing the head of his shaft, and then….the blessed, wet warmth of Cloud's eager mouth, slowly sucking him off.

Along with another totally unexpected sensation. _Bubbles? Tingling? Do I smell…strawberries? What the __**fuck**__?_

"What…what is that, Cloud?" Reno gasped, arching his back. "Holy shit, it feels…."

"Hm?" Cloud murmured questioningly, his mouth still working on Reno. Everything was driving the Turk mad with desire - between finally getting time alone with Cloud; being blindfolded; and now, this. Whatever this sensation was, Reno thought it might make him come apart at the seams. He wondered if Cloud had swigged a mouthful of champagne, or some other carbonated beverage; the bubbly sensation certainly would lead one to that conclusion.

"It feels fucking incredible," Reno replied, moaning. "Cloud? Do you…have something in your mouth?"

"Nn nnn," Cloud mumbled, trying his hardest not to laugh. He wondered if Reno had figured out yet what was going on. Shrugging his shoulders, he attacked Reno's cock with greater gusto, adding his stroking hand to the equation. He relaxed his throat, taking in Reno's full length – _a very impressive length_, Cloud noted to himself, smiling.

"Mmm," Cloud hummed, hoping the vibrations from his humming would please Reno. Apparently it did please him, as Reno began bucking his hips, fucking Cloud's mouth. "Oh, _fuck_, Cloud!" Reno yelped, as he fisted the bedsheets, and arched his back, thrusting up into Cloud's mouth. Cloud quickened his strokes in response, and felt Reno suddenly tense up.

"I'm going to…" Reno groaned. "Oh fuck it all to hell!" he shouted as he finally came, spending his load in Cloud's eager mouth. The cadet – now corporal – swallowed audibly, then removed his mouth from Reno, still not saying a word. He quietly removed Reno's blindfold, and lay next to the Turk, his head on the adjacent pillow. Reno's eyes shot open as he regarded the angelic blond now lying next to him, smirking almost triumphantly.

Reno exhaled a breath he had been holding in, and remarked, "That was…one hell of a blowjob, Cloud. Holy shit. I need to ask, though…"

"I know what you're going to ask," Cloud interrupted, laughing uncontrollably. "The bubbles…"

"Yeah," Reno said, chuckling. "What…was that?"

"Pop Rocks," Cloud replied simply, grinning.

"Fucking _Pop Rocks_?" Reno echoed, chortling. "You…are just full of surprises, Cloud," he murmured, as he wrapped an arm around Cloud's waist, pulling him in closer. "And," Reno whispered as he kissed Cloud, "you taste like strawberries..."

"Mmm, Reno," Cloud groaned, as he returned the kiss, snaking his fingers roughly through the Turk's red hair, pulling and tugging at his ponytail. "Yeah," Reno growled appreciatively. "I like that. Pull it harder."

Cloud laughed aloud. "You like it rough, don't you, Reno?" he asked, grinning.

"You don't know the half of it, yo," Reno replied, smirking. He traced his fingers along Cloud's jawbone, and sighed contentedly, smiling.

"But I'm about to find out, right?" Cloud asked.

"Damn right, you are," Reno affirmed, a seductive growl in his tone.

"I can't believe this is happening," Cloud murmured, as he ran his hands over Reno's lean torso, causing the Turk's groin to stir once again.

"Why do you say that?" Reno asked Cloud, kissing the top of his head. He then impatiently yanked on the hem of Cloud's shirt, lifting it up and over his head, flinging it into the corner of the bedroom without looking.

"Because…" Cloud replied slowly, gazing into Reno's aquamarine eyes after the garment was removed. "I've had a crush on you for a long time. A _very_ long time."

"Funny, that," Reno commented, smiling. "Well, I already told you I've been…watching you, for a while. I had no idea you felt the same way, Cloud. You should have said something, yo."

"Well, I'm saying it now," Cloud whispered. "Better late than never…"

"Yeah," Reno agreed. He smirked again as he sat up, and shifted so that Cloud was underneath him. "Enough pillow talk, yo. It's your turn to squirm, Cloud."

"Oh shit," Cloud replied, giggling. "What are you going to do to me, Reno?"

"You'll find out soon enough," Reno murmured, as he licked Cloud's collarbone, then moved his attention further south, biting on a pert nipple; this caused Cloud to gasp, and involuntarily grind his hips up into Reno's pelvis. The Turk grinned upon seeing Cloud whimpering and squirming beneath his touch. He'd imagined having Cloud in such a position ever since he first laid eyes on him, and was grinning stupidly at the realization that his wish had finally come true.

"Fuck," Cloud muttered, moaning appreciatively. His hands found their way to Reno's hair once again; he gripped handfuls of the red spikes even more tightly, once he realized Reno's tongue was continuing its exploration of Cloud's pelvic area.

Reno's head dipped down, his tongue lapping at the area just below Cloud's navel. Cloud groaned at the initial sensation of Reno's invading tongue, and spread his legs further apart in response; Reno flattened his body against Cloud's, slithering further down, his hands gripping lean hips as he skillfully pulled Cloud's pants off; then, Reno opened his mouth and descended upon his prize. Small explosions went off in Cloud's brain, feeling Reno's warm tongue and lips working their magic upon his almost painful erection; he wondered if he might pass out_. It feels so fucking good, _he thought, as he moaned and writhed under Reno's touch.

Remembering he had a tongue, as well as vocal cords, Cloud finally managed to stammer, "R-Reno….oh gods, Reno…d-don't stop…." His voice broke down into a wordless whimper. Reno grinned as he continued to deep throat Cloud. "You like that, don't you, baby," Reno murmured. The redhead gave Cloud's cock another lick; then, he cupped his balls, taking one of them into his mouth, teasing it with his tongue.

Almost involuntarily, Cloud wrapped his legs around Reno's shoulders. "Holy fucking _Shiva_," he whispered, arching his back as Reno's tongue continued to tease and play with Cloud's balls. Reno moved onto the other one, sucking on it slowly, before moving back to Cloud's erection, grabbing it with his hand and stroking it, as he returned to sucking Cloud off, speeding up the tempo of both his hand and his mouth. Reno cupped Cloud's ass, pulling him in closer as he increased his pace. "Renooooo," Cloud cried, his entire body stiffened as he climaxed, and Reno swallowed his cum greedily. The Turk smiled as he lapped at Cloud, much like a cat.

"So," commented the lanky Turk, as he settled himself back on the pillow, his hand gently caressing Cloud's face. "How was that?"

"Um," Cloud mumbled, still breathless and flustered. "It was…amazing. I don't even have the words for it, really."

"You know," Cloud continued, chuckling as he regained his composure slightly, "I could use a fucking cigarette."

"Same here," Reno replied, grinning, as he reached for his jacket which was lying on the floor in a heap. He fished through the pockets, and located his lighter and a joint. "Got a fatty for us right here, yo," Reno commented, placing the unlit joint in his mouth, and lighting it. He inhaled quickly, then passed it to Cloud. "Here, babe."

"Thanks," Cloud replied, as he settled back onto the pillow and inhaled deeply, sighing as he exhaled the smoke. "That was…pretty nice."

Reno grinned as he took the offered joint back from Cloud. "What was nice? The weed, or the blowjob?"

Cloud giggled, as he snuggled into Reno's side, laying an arm lazily across his torso. "Hmm," he murmured, considering Reno's question. "Um…both?"

"Good answer, yo," Reno replied. He wrapped an arm around Cloud's shoulders, and took another hit off the joint, feeling as if he was unable to stop smiling. Reno sighed happily, giving Cloud a squeeze as he cautiously passed what was left of the joint back to him. Pinching it carefully, Cloud took a quick hit from the stub, then quickly extinguished it in the ashtray that was on the end table next to the bed.

Reno was lost in his own pleasant thoughts of ways he might make Cloud squirm again , and was completely unaware that the object of his musings was even speaking, until Cloud elbowed him in the side to get his attention.

"Ow!" Reno exclaimed, wincing melodramatically. "What was that for?"

"I was asking you a question," Cloud replied. "A very _important_ question, and you were ignoring me."

Reno cackled. "Sorry, babe," he murmured, kissing the top of Cloud's head, as it lay on his chest. "What were you asking me?"

"I was asking you," Cloud replied steadily, smiling up slyly at Reno, "if you were ready for round two."

Reno's eyes widened a bit, as did his grin. "So soon, Cloud? Not that I'm complaining, yo, I'm just a little…surprised."

Cloud laughed. "I'm surprised you're surprised, Reno. Didn't you know they did Mako testing on us last week?"

"Yeah, I knew that," Reno replied, appearing confused. "But…what are you getting at, Cloud?"

"I had the highest tolerance, and quickest recovery time, out of everyone who was showered with Mako." Cloud moved so he was straddling Reno and grinned down at him. "You do know what that means, right?"

Realization suddenly dawned on Reno, and he grinned from ear to ear, pulling Cloud into an embrace, crushing him to his chest. "Mm hmm," the Turk murmured, giving Cloud a lopsided grin. "It means…you can go all night long. And repeatedly. I knew you aced swordsmanship, archery, and marksmanship…but I hadn't heard about _that_, yo."

Cloud nodded, smiling. "Yeah. So they told us, it's one of the benefits of being showered with Mako."

"I know all about that, Cloud," Reno murmured, trailing his long fingers up Cloud's spine. "Guess who had the highest tolerance and quickest recovery time to Mako in _my_ class at the academy?"

"Huh? What?" Cloud blurted incredulously, staring at Reno. "_You_? Are you serious, Reno?"

Reno laughed at Cloud's reaction. "Yep. Yours truly. I can go all night long, and then some. Of course, the weed slows me down a bit…but not for long, yo. _Not_ for long." The Turk's hand wandered down to Cloud's crotch, fondling the already-burgeoning erection. "I guess _you're_ ready, Cloud," Reno whispered, as he ground his now-hard cock up into Cloud's pelvis, causing him to groan.

"Fuck yeah," Cloud growled, moving his legs out so he was straddling Reno's hips. "Ready or not, here I coooome," he sang, grinning.

"Not yet, you don't," Reno replied, smirking as he flipped Cloud onto his back, pinning his arms over his head. "Not fucking yet."

"Round two, yo…ding ding."


	4. Chapter 4

As horny and worked up as Reno and Cloud were, they slowed things down, and simply lay in the bed, holding and gently kissing each other. Part of wanting to slow things down, was due to the effects of the weed, but they also wanted to explore and enjoy each other, before rushing into 'round two'. Hands wandered and groped everywhere; Reno wanted to touch every part of Cloud's body, and make him wither and tremble under his touch. Cloud was more than receptive to this, and responded in kind by doing the same; his hands grazed over Reno's lean musculature, fingers tracing the outline of his spine. They explored each other's mouths, lips and tongue as well, kissing so much, and so fervently, that they both kept running out of breath.

Eventually, though, they had to come up for air. "Gods, Cloud," Reno gasped, stroking his cheek. "I seriously can't get enough of you. I feel like I could stay in this room, and kiss you forever, and not even give a shit about food, or drink..." As if to remind him that he would require food at _some _point, Reno's stomach growled audibly. They both laughed. "Well," Cloud began, chuckling, "I guess it's a good thing I brought some snacks for us. Forgot the pizza, though...I could really go for some of that," he said, regretfully.

"I'll get us some," Reno volunteered immediately. "Unless those fuckers ate it all!" Completely naked, he bounded off the bed, and ran toward the door. "I'll try to get us a whole pie if I can, Cloud, but those guys are fucking pigs, so I can't make any promises."

"Reno, you're-" Cloud started, as Reno ran out the door and slammed it shut behind him.

"-naked." He lay back in the bed, and clutched his sides laughing. _There's only one Reno_, Cloud thought. _And he's all mine. _Cloud clasped his hands behind his head, sighing contentedly.

Minutes later, Reno returned, with a grease-soaked pizza box. "Okay, there's half a pizza left in here, better than nothing, yo," the Turk told Cloud. They sat next to each other on the edge of the bed, thighs touching, with the pizza box opened and spread out on their laps.

"Reno," Cloud said, as he reached for a slice. "You realize you were completely naked when you ran downstairs, right?"

Reno laughed, and shrugged indifferently as he bit into his slice. "Yeah, I'm aware of that. My dick was swinging as I ran down the stairs, yo," he said, chuckling. "It's no big deal, though. We've all seen each other in the locker room and the showers, right?"

"Hm. Yeah, I suppose so," Cloud said quietly, as he chewed his pizza. He grinned, then asked, "So, what did Sephiroth and Genesis say, when you streaked through the kitchen?"

"Oh, nobody even noticed me, yo," Reno replied, snickering. "Dude, Seph and Gen are high as kites, and falling over themselves – and I think Angeal and Zack are still in the fucking truck, doing Gaia knows what."

Cloud's eyes widened as he smirked. "Really? That's pretty funny. Well," he continued, chewing on his pizza, "I guess I don't have to worry about anyone else checking out your ass."

An eyebrow raised curiously. "Cloud?" Reno purred. "Are you…jealous or something?"

"No, I'm not the jealous type," Cloud said, shaking his head. "Besides…Sephiroth himself told me I have nothing to worry about with you." He sat up and wiped crumbs off of his mouth with a napkin.

Reno's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Just what _did _Sephiroth tell you?" he inquired. Reno stood up and placed the empty pizza box next to a small trash can, then lay back down on the bed next to Cloud.

"Nothing bad, Reno, seriously," Cloud replied hastily. "No, his exact words were..'Reno won't fuck you over." He tucked himself underneath Reno's arm, settling his head on the Turk's chest. "Not that I ever thought you would…Sephiroth just…came out with that, unprompted."

"Oh," Reno murmured, tightening his arm around Cloud. "Well…that's nice of him, I guess." He laughed softly as he brushed his lips against Cloud's hair, inhaling his scent.

"I'm glad you're not jealous, Cloud," Reno said seriously. "I don't do well with that kind of shit. And besides…I should be the jealous one, really," he murmured.

"You? Why?" Cloud asked, surprised. He glanced up at Reno awaiting his answer.

"Because, Cloud," Reno whispered, turning on his side to face Cloud. "You are pretty much the hottest guy on campus, you know." He pulled Cloud into his arms for a gentle kiss, and erupted in a smile. "Gods, you are beautiful, Cloud."

"Me?" Cloud said incredulously, blushing. "That's nice of you to say, Reno, but—"

"No buts," Reno said, silencing Cloud by brushing a finger against his lips. "Stop it with this modesty shit. You are one hot piece of ass, and I want to tell the world that you're _mine_." Cloud felt his heart skip a beat – and his groin stir – at Reno's words.

"Oh, Reno," Cloud murmured, as he hooked a leg over both of Reno's, and straddled his hips. He lowered himself onto Reno as he ran his hands up the Turk's chest, massaging him. With a glint in his eye, Cloud smirked and bared his teeth as he grazed a nipple, causing Reno to gasp. "I _am_ yours."

Smiling, Reno ran his long fingers through spiked blond hair, as Cloud turned his attentions back to Reno's nipple, his tongue darting out and teasing it. "Bite it," Reno commanded, moaning. "_Hard_."

"Oh?" Cloud murmured in inquiry, smiling. He gave another final lick, then bared his teeth, at first gently grazing the surface – then nibbling, then biting down hard, as Reno had instructed. The Turk groaned, arching his back, and spread his legs unconsciously, allowing Cloud to nestle in between his thighs. Cloud's mouth kept working the nipple, while a hand wandered down to Reno's shaft, stroking it. "Unh," grunted Reno. He suddenly swatted Cloud's hand away, and sat up, giving Cloud a fiery kiss on the lips. "I want you," he whispered. "I want you _bad_, Cloud, and I want you _now_." He and Cloud both sat up in the bed, and kissed each other feverishly, as they groped each other.

"Turn over, Cloud…lie on your side, with your back to me," Reno whispered softly, as lay parallel to Cloud, his erection now brushing up against Cloud's ass. Reno bent his knee, and used it to part Cloud's legs from behind; he his hands slowly up Cloud's torso and shoulders, pinching a nipple as his hands ghosted over Cloud's chest. "Mm," Reno groaned, as he dusted Cloud's shoulder, then his neck, with kisses. "You are so…" The sentence was left unfinished as he continued nuzzling into Cloud's neck. Gasping, Cloud crept his hands back, as he tried to cup the backs of Reno's thighs, as well as his ass.

"Inside me," Cloud moaned. "I want you inside me, Reno…so bad…"

"Think I can make that happen," Reno muttered, as he reached a fumbling hand over to the bedside table, finally locating the container of lube, and flipped the lid open single-handed. He slicked some of the substance over his shaft, grimacing as his fingers grazed over the sensitive crown. Reno then pressed his fingers up into Cloud, one at a time, causing him to utter a string of muttered profanities; Cloud then responded by spreading his legs back and apart a bit further, to allow Reno greater leverage. Reno grabbed Cloud's left leg and hooked it up over his left thigh, as he slowly entered into Cloud. "Tell me if it hurts, Cloud, and I'll stop," Reno whispered. "The last thing I want to do is hurt you—"

"Doesn't hurt," Cloud interrupted, grunting as he tilted his head back and to the side to kiss Reno on the lips. "It feels…incredible. Harder, Reno…harder," he begged.

"Fuckin' A," Reno replied, increasing his thrusts, wrapping his arms around Cloud's waist as he pressed his abdomen against the small of Cloud's back. "Gods, Cloud," he groaned. "I could lose myself in you…completely."

"Then do it, Reno. Fall away with me," whispered Cloud, reaching his hand down to his almost painful erection, stroking it fervently.

"Let me help you with that," Reno murmured, reaching a hand around Cloud's side, and placing his left hand on top of Cloud's. They stroked in unison as Reno slammed into Cloud, bringing himself closer to the edge of orgasm. Reno felt Cloud's entire body stiffen as he came, the liquid spurting over both of their clenched hands. Moments later, Reno lost it, and came almost violently, biting onto Cloud's shoulder as he shuddered and felt the sweet release.

Kissing Cloud tenderly on the neck, Reno reluctantly withdrew himself from his lover, not even wanting to – just wanting to stay where he was. "Damn," Reno whispered, exhaling, as he lay on his back. Cloud nestled himself into the crook of Reno's shoulder, and lay an arm lazily over his torso.

"Yeah," Cloud replied, brushing his lips against Reno's chest. "My thoughts exactly."

"Smoke?" Reno inquired, one arm reaching over for his pack of smokes.

"Yeah," Cloud replied, yawning. "And then a nap. I need to rest up."

"Rest up? For what?" Reno asked absently, as he lit the cigarette that was now dangling from his mouth.

"I need to rest up," Cloud said slyly, kissing Reno's collarbone, "for round three."

"Ohhhh," Reno replied, chuckling. "Round three. I see."

"Now," Reno continued, "where the hell is that ashtray?" He spied the missing object over on the dresser, and ambled over to retrive it. "Ah, here we go, Cloud," Reno said as he settled back onto the bed. "Cloud?" he repeated inquisitively, after receiving no response.

Reno was met with a chorus of light snoring; he glanced at Cloud to see him hugging his pillow, fast asleep, with a smile on his face. He couldn't help but smile himself, as he took in how happy and peaceful Cloud appeared as he slept. I hope I'm the reason he's smiling like that, Reno thought, as he puffed on his cigarette. He uncorked a bottle of wine he'd swiped earlier from Genesis, and began drinking straight out of the bottle. Soon, the wine started getting to Reno's head, and made him sleepy. The Turk snuffed out his cigarette, re-corked the wine, and lay down behind Cloud, spooning him, as he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Hours later, Reno stirred, feeling a slight headache due in part to his wine consumption. Cloud still slept soundly beside him, moaning softly as he snored lightly; the blond was now lying on his back, head slumped over to the side of the pillow. Reno smiled as his eyes traveled down his lover's body - then, he grinned even wider as his eyes met a certain part of Cloud's anatomy. He was sporting a most obvious erection, and it was standing nearly straight up. Reno licked his lips as he decided just _how _he wanted to wake Cloud up. The most obvious answer, Reno reasoned, would be to give Cloud a blowjob while he slept. Still foggy on wine, and feeling slightly silly - Reno got yet another idea, as he stared at the pile of snacks that Cloud had assembled.

_Hm_, Reno thought, grinning wickedly as he reached for the bag of his beloved Funyuns. _I bet nobody's ever done this with Funyuns before. _He opened the bag, as quietly as he could, and fished two of the snacks out, observing them as he held them in his hand. Sitting on the edge of the bed, Reno lobbed one of the Funyuns toward Cloud, aiming for his crotch. The item hit Cloud's cock, and bounced off, landing on his upper thigh.

"Snnkk," Cloud snorted, as he felt the object hit him. "Fffwwaa..." he mumbled, then fell back to sleep.

Reno was ready to explode into hysterics. Stifling a giggle, he took another Funyun out of the bag, and tossed it toward its target.

This time, Reno didn't miss. The Funyun landed perfectly, and encircled Cloud's shaft, looking every bit like an edible cock ring. Reno couldn't hold it in any longer, and guffawed, waking up Cloud.

"What...what are you laughing at, Reno," Cloud inquired sleepily, yawning. Sitting up in the bed slightly, he shifted, then looking down his body, frowned. As soon as realization of what Reno had done hit him, Cloud's eyes widened, and he sat straight up. "What...did...you DO to me, Reno?" Cloud demanded, trying to hide a grin.

Reno giggled foolishly. "It's...Funyuns, man," he replied. "I was just playing while you were asleep."

"Obviously," Cloud replied, unable to hold back his smile any longer. "Reno, what am I going to do with you," he remarked, laughing. "More to the point, what am I going to do with _this_?" he demanded, pointing at his Funyun-encircled penis.

"Well," Reno said, moving toward Cloud. "I _am _getting kind of hungry."


End file.
